Blackbird
by Vittrande
Summary: My mother always told me that life was never going to be easy, that you couldn't go back and change all of your mistakes once again. I thought that she was clever but that she was dreaming again, like always.


**Another fanfiction. Another Dramione. I never finished my last pieces, but I plan to finish this one. I love reviews, they make me feel a bit better about my writing and my poor english language. This will not be so different from other plots, it will not have a big "kill Voldemort, fall in love" thing, but I'll just play this out where it belongs, a few years after the war. But it's not going to be about work or about Hermione being a crazy new girl what so ever. I wish to se their personalites steady like in the books and I do not wish to change much of that. This is supposed to be my fanfiction that I'll finish and be proud of. Wish me luck. ~Emma**

**Chapter one**

_Polka dots make me happy_

* * *

My mother always told me that life was never going to be easy, that you couldn't go back and change all of your mistakes once again. I thought that she was clever but that she was dreaming again, like always. Jean Granger and I were a lot different. I was strong and I saw reality. My mother saw a fog of dreams and lived in her mind, building a brick wall around it. She was a sweet woman, exactly the type that my father needed. I was more like him, rigid, intelligent and quiet. That, until I started Hogwarts, school of wizardry and witchcraft. Oh how proud my mother was. I'd never seen her so alive, so aware of me. And I - an eleven year old girl - thought that it was the best thing that could happen me.

I was clever and curious and even though I still were and outcast, I soon got friends. Friends that I followed through the deep and dark, that I would give anything for. I didn't regret it. I didn't regret nothing of that. What I regretted was the time after the ward when everyone was settling down. I regretted the day that Harry and Ginny got married, the day that Ron and I stopped being close friends, the day I started writing and at last, the day I wrote it all down.

I loved them, I would do anything for them, but I couldn't do what they asked me to do. I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to attend Rons wedding. It had been fast and hurried but Harry said that they really loved each other. And that hurt, it burned in my chest, my heart and the pain was so horrible that I acctually kept it together and said no without breaking down. Because I was already broken inside. Lavender Brown- oh excuse me, Weasley-. That was her name, the woman that had catched Rons heart when I couldn't. And that was the last time I talked to my friends in months.

My name was Hermione Granger. It meant earth and stone. I was not a statue even though people thought that I was. I was not earth that you could just crumble between your fingers. I was a woman, a human being that loved books, cats, colors, art, words and polka dots. Polka dots made me happy.

* * *

My flat wasn't the biggest even though I had the money. It was cheap but cozy, it represented me. It was filled with books and sofas, knitted blankets and tea cups. I was the only person except my parents who had been there. I just hadn't had the urge to make new friends. I had Crookshanks and Pompeii, my new kitten. And then I had my work at the ministry that I could do at home with just coming in to the office once a week.

I didn't often go out on the streets, or eat in resturants. People still stared at me if I came to close a paper stand or something like that. I was famous. _Famous_. The word didn't mean anything to me anymore. I ignored it, didn't write autographs of took photos with children. I just walked past them.

The cup broke, crushed into the floor making the cats shriek and then rush somewhere to hide. I swore before getting my wand, cleaning it up in a second. My flat wasn't a mess anymore but the kitchen was empty and the books read. I dreaded to go out but it was necessary for my lifes sake.

I pulled my cloak around me after putting my hair in a bun and painting my lips red. It wasn't worth getting caught on camera if I looked horrible. I put my wand in my jeans and grabbed my bag before heading against the fireplace. I stepped in and pushed a miserable Pompeii out of it. She stared at me with big eyes.

"Diagon Alley!" I said as I dropped the powder in the rest of the ashes.

The alley was as crowded as always. People rushing forward and backward to find what they were looking for. Kids swooming around the Quidditch and candy shops, people in the pubs, and people just meeting at resturants around the corner, wanting to catch up. It was late noon and I hurried against Helenas butique that lay beside the Weasleys jokeshop. After Freds death, George and his wife Angelina ran it. The memories hurt me but I couldn't look at it to long before anyone noticed so I continued against the small little shop.

Helena was a nice woman in the early thirtees and sold almost anything. The positive side for me was that almost no one went there. Helene and I were acquaint, she was the closest thing to friend.

The bell ringed when I entered and Helene stood, fresh as always with her blond hair hanging freely. She cracked up in a smile and welcomed me with a hug.

"Oh, Hermione darling! Where have you been? Don't tell me that you're going to another store?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. I laughed.

"Of course not", and that was a mistake because her face darkened.

"Don't tell me that you lived on last months groceries?"

"I'm not a hungry person", I bit back and looked down at my hands. She sighed but didn't say anything more.

"So, what do you want?" she asked and I looked around in the butique, smiling. She saw it. "Alright, come to me when you're done sweetie."

I took a basket, collecting the things I wanted in it. It was mostly fruit, bread and chocolate. When I showed Helene, she looked at me in misstrust.

"Now I understand that you look like a sack of bon..." she was interrupted by the bell and I quickly turned around just to feel the shock rising in my head. The blonde hair was the same but it hanged in his face. The grey eyes looked different, more serious and he was dressed in a black suit, like the perfect buisness man. I wanted to run and never look back, but he noticed me before I had the chance. I saw his eyes turn into recognisability and then disbelief.

"Granger?" Draco Malfoy asked me as I stood in front of Helene. He looked tense but still curious, and I could she the arrogance behind the mask. I had a mask to. I nodded.

"Malfoy." My hands shook when I turned around against Helene again but he took a grip around my arm. Oh god no, oh god no. I was panicking.

"Well, I thought that you'd left town. Is this the way to great old friends?" he said with sweet voice and I turned to Helene and understood. He didn't want to do anything rushed in front of her, and I understood that. But that left me in his hands. I smiled brightly, but with a hint of threat in my eyes.

"Oh my! You were in town? I had no idea! If I had, of course I would have visited you", I said with a false happy tone and stood on my toes to kiss his cheak. His skin was smooth and smelled like pepparmint and I had no idea why I had done that. He neither. He froze and stared at me for ten seconds. A lot of thoughts seemed to cross his mind before he smirked.

"Oh, darling! Why don't we have a coffe after this shoppingtour? We have _so _much to catch up!"

Helene smiled widly. "Hermione, who's this?"

"Draco Malfoy", I said and she looked surprised.

"The ministry Draco Malfoy?" she asked and he nodded. I stared down again. So, our dear Malfoy worked at the ministry. Lovely. Then he'd probably meet the aurors Harry Potter and Ron Weasley again. "I'm really glad you found her. She doesn't have so much friends for the moment", Helene smiled and I stared at her with a shocked look. I couldn't believe that she acctually thought that I and Malfoy were friends.

I payed for my things and he for his(wich only included cigarettes) before we headed out. The minute we were out, I pulled him from the shop to the entrance of Weasleys joke shop. He looked very amused.

"Malfoy! What the hell are you doing here? And what the actual fuck was that? We are _not_ friends, we never were and we'll never be. So why in Merlins name did you do such a thing?" I whispered angrily and he smiled.

"Granger, Granger, I'm enjoying myself. And isn't it I that should ask the questions about the golden trios third part that disappeared last summer? The one that no one has seen and the one that no one is talking about? Not even Weasley and Potter?"

It stabbed me harder than it should. That a friendship like ours could be so quickly destroyed. He seemed to enjoy that very much and chuckled before freezing. And then, Draco Malfoy did something that I never thought that he'd do. He kissed me. Not rough, but softly. His lips were soft and he put a hand behind my neck. I didn't respond. I just stood there, without any clue what he was doing. And then, it was over, and I felt how my body was disapponted by it. My mind shook that away and then it reacted.

"What the fu..." I started before I noticed the faces of Harry and Ginny Potter and Ron and Lavender Brown who just came out of Georges shop and were staring at me, and Malfoy. I glanced at him, and he looked terriblely amused. Oh fuck.

* * *

**A/N: So it was boring and I'm tired. I hope that you enjoyed. Please review.**


End file.
